Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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