I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
