Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
