Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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