i would punch a child for taco bell
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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