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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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