A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Still dying that you shit outside
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
