We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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