He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
