he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
