dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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