Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
do nipples grow back?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
