so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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