Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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