I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
