I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
