reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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