Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
