There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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