You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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