i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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