Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
