like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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