If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize