i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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