if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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