Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
