If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize