im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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