pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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