Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
did i just pee glitter
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
