I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize