If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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