no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
