My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
