Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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