I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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