I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
