I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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