my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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