im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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