allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
