Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
