Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
