Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
