forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
