She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize