I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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