So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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