Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
