I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We have started to decorate penises.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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