We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
