I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
