Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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