I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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