doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
