is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Pooping to opera.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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