Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
