awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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